The Heartbreak Kid is a painful and unfunny movie, and it really should have been at least…okay.  You had Peter and Bobby Farrelly, returning to the R-rated comedy genre, along with their There’s Something About Mary star Ben Stiller, and then magic, right?  Well, unfortunately, the answer is no.  Now, don’t get me wrong, there were a few hilarious and uproarious sight gags, full of the Farrelly Brothers’ patented raunchiness, but overall, the film fails.           

The Heartbreak Kid stars Ben Stiller as Eddie Cantrow, a San Francisco-based sporting goods storeowner, who cannot commit to any relationship.  Following the painful (and unfunny) attending of his ex-fiancée’s wedding, Eddie meets Lila played here by the stunning Malin Akerman.  After a whirlwind courtship, the two marry, and take a painful (and unfunny) road trip down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.  Eddie discovers that Lila’s personality quirks and foibles add up to what appears to be psychotic behavior, and he eventually meets Miranda (Mission: Impossible III’s Michele Monaghan), there for a family reunion.  The rest of the movie depicts Eddie basically abandoning his wife to woo Miranda.  Yes, that is basically it.  And it is painful and unfunny.           

We can no longer believe Ben Stiller in his signature role.  The charm of the verbally awkward, socially misfit characters of Stiller’s past films like Meet the Parents and the aforementioned Mary, has worn off.  Stiller’s in his forties now, and The Heartbreak Kid shows that, gray hairs and all.  Stiller’s portrayal of Eddie Cantrow is unbelievable, painful, and unfunny.  It also borders on the offensive, but not in a good way.  The ending, both shocking and horrifying, proves this.  This is definitely one of the worst endings for a film ever.  I actually felt guilty for seeing The Heartbreak Kid after witnessing the final scene.  No one should feel this way after a movie, well, except maybe after Showgirls (but that’s a different story and review altogether).           

The characters in The Heartbreak Kid are neither likable or memorable, with the possible exceptions being the luminous Monaghan’s Miranda and Eddie’s father, “Doc,” portrayed by Ben Stiller’s real-life father Jerry.  The remaining performances are for the most part, that’s right, painful and unfunny.  I’m not really sure what the Farrellys were attempting with The Heartbreak Kid, which was originally based on both playwright Neil Simon’s play of the same name and a short story by Bruce Jay Friedman.  In this humble reviewer’s opinion, the siblings/co-directors were just trying too hard.  Thus, what could have been a great comedic movie just was not.           

Did I mention that ending?  Oh, yes, I did.  But, I really cannot stress how truly bad it is.  It makes Titanic look like It’s a Wonderful Life.  If I have failed as a critic, and you decide to see The Heartbreak Kid, just consider yourself warned.  Because that ending, well, it is simply painful and unfunny.    

Grade: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

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